I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
