I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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