my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
