So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
