how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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