for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
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I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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