I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
