I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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