i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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