my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
