There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
