I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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