...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
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