the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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