Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
