Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
