i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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