sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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