If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
