Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
