That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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