I cannot find my penis.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize