Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
