Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
