ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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