After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
