Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
