ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
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