But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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