He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
my shit smells like andre
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Hippo gnu deer
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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