I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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