I am in a vortex of obligation.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
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i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
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All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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