Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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