You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
He is an equal opportunity slut.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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