so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
