you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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