You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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