Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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