We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
