Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
