Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
