Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i just sent this text using only my big toe
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
