pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
