i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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