East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I have so many feelings about this burrito
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Will exercising make me less horny?
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