oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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