is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Let's get the cat blown out
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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