She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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