highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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