One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
