Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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