the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
pop tarts are not kleenex
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
