I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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