Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
