I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
