He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
