Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You can't just leave with hair like that
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
