Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
